Please Come Back To Me
by eenoora
Summary: Olivia wakes up the day after the breakup of 5x09, and her life changes forever. Fitz is in the hospital. Will he get better? What is Olivia's reaction? What happens now? Rating change to M.
1. Please Come Back To Me

**_Hello Olitzers! Here I am again :)._**

 ** _I am so angry at the season 5 winter finale (5x09) that I stopped watching the series. I am not going to watch it anymore unless I hear that they are back together. I really wish they end up together, but that woman (lol that's what I call Olivia these days) has to earn Fitz. The man is crazy about her. He does everything for her and she goes ahead and turns tricks behind his back, smh. But I love their love, and I cannot not think about them (I am seriously in need of therapy!). I am soo angry at Olivia for what she did in the last few episodes, so this is a scenario that will make her suffer for a while (*devilish laugh*). Think of this as 5x10 (maybe)._**

* * *

She was in her car, on her way to OPA when she found out about it.

"President Grant is in James Madison Hospital after a stroke. He is in surgery and in critical condition." was all she heard. She suddenly lost control of the vehicle and after a few moments, hit the brakes hard in order not to hit a car that was crossing the intersection.

She had stopped in the middle of the road, not even hearing the honks from the other cars. Her eyes were ringing and she was practically paralyzed.

It was only after a few minutes that she realized where she was. Tears started flowing down her cheeks and she started driving, this time towards James Madison.

People did not know that they were no longer together, so she faced no resistance when she asked where his room is, and when she asked about his condition. And now, there she was, sitting outside an operating room, her head bowed and in between her hands.

Her face was pale and her hands were shaking. People were trying to take her to an exam room, but it was out of question. He was inside, fighting for his life... She wasn't leaving this spot.

She looked at anyone who exited the operating room with begging eyes. A couple times someone came outside and told them that the surgery was still going on and that the president's situation was critical. It wasn't until hours later that the lead surgeon emerged from the OR with swollen, red eyes and sunk shoulders.

"It was a very tricky surgery. His previous brain surgeries made it more complicated. We were able to intervene in time, but regardless, the situation is touch-and-go. We just have to wait and see. He is in a medically induced coma, we will need to monitor him and reassess the situation every day. Ms Pope, we did the very best we could, now we have to wait. If his vitals remain stable, you can see him for a few minutes tomorrow. For now, I think it is best if you could try to take some rest."

She didn't even acknowledge the last part of the conversation. She walked shakily and sat on a chair, leaning her head towards the wall.

* * *

The next day she was allowed to see him for 10 minutes. She hesitantly held his hand, and started crying. "Fitz... Please come back to me. I made a mistake, I cannot live without you. I cannot... Please don't leave me."

Days passed by... There was no change in his condition. She had barely eaten in the past few days. She could not think of anything other than him. She stood up to walk to the window of the ICU to take a look at him and just when her hand barely touched the glass, everything went black. She woke up a while later in an exam room, with a doctor and nurses next to her. She was hooked to an IV and they were drawing blood. The doctor explained to her; "Ms Pope you exhausted yourself to your limits in the past few days, you have to take better care of yourself. We are drawing blood to run some tests, just to make sure everything is fine." Things were hazy at first, but as she came to, the weight of the situation overwhelmed her and she started crying and whimpering.

She'd had an abortion only a few days ago, and never had time to rest or to take care of herself. It had further weakened her physical and mental state. The abortion, she thought… She couldn't, for the life of her, remember why she had done it.

Do I even have the right to be around him? Do I even have the right to ask him to come back to life, come back to me? She asked herself.

She couldn't contain herself in the hospital bed; she had to go see him. When she was in the room, she knelt down next to the bed and took his hand in between hers, closed her eyes, and begged him to wake up repeatedly. "Please come back to me, please come back to us. I'm sorry, Fitz. I'm sorry for everything you ever had to go through because of me. I'm sorry. I know I don't deserve you, but please come back. I was just scared, I felt cornered. But I should have trusted you. Please, Fitz. Please come back. Please let me right my wrong." She kept begging him with tears flooding down her face. All she could do was cry, ask him to come back, and hold on to his hand as if her life depended on it.

Nothing was happening though. He wasn't waking up. He wasn't moving. The monitors weren't showing any changes. As if to say he didn't even want to come back, to say he didn't even believe her…

* * *

Days passed, then weeks… They had stopped the medicines they gave him to make him sleep, and had been wating for him to wake up. He was still unconscious though, lying on that bed with his eyes closed, his skin pale, and his face… almost… lifeless.

She had never left. He was not in the ICU anymore, he was in a private room. The hospital let her stay full time, they brought an additional bed into his room so she could sleep there at night when they realized she wouldn't leave until he was well.

Five weeks had passed. His vitals were stable but he showed no signs of consciousness. He wasn't waking up and everyone's hopes were taking a hit with every passing day.

She had a lot of time to think in those weeks when she watched him lie there unconscious. She thought about how their relationship started, the connection they felt, the pull they had for each other. The day they met, she felt something she had never felt before. Something she couldn't even describe. She was pulled towards him, towards his eyes. She felt the inexplicable need to be wrapped in his arms. He was almost a stranger at that point, but she felt that the only place in this world that she could find real peace was his embrace.

With every passing minute she was becoming more drawn to him, and it seemed like the feelings were, in fact, mutual. They had a "one minute" in the hallway one day, and she could swear she saw his soul through his eyes. The way he looked at her… It took her breath away. By the end of that one minute, she knew she would be trapped in his love until the end of her days.

What came after was an explosive night in his hotel room. One night when she could not make herself believe that she was supposed to go back to her room and not have anything to do with him other than their professional relationship, she went with him to his room and let herself be surrounded by his love and consumed by their lust. His touch, oh, his touch… It was nothing like she had ever experienced before. It was electrifying. And his kisses… When his lips touched her skin, she lost all contact with reality. She was in a dream, a dream that involved only the two of them, a dream she wished lasted forever.

Then she thought about the days they were apart. Every day was torture; every night was full of longing. She pined for him. Once it was him that pushed her away, it was because of Defiance. She could only function thanks to work. Outside of work, she had no life. Even breathing was painful. She was living for the sake of living. Later on she found out that he suffered as much as she did, if not more.

Other times it was her that pushed him away. It was never because she didn't want him. No, it was never because she wanted to leave him. But always because she felt she had to... He was married, he had children, he was the president, her father was the head of B613, her father killed his child…

One thing never changed, though. There was a truth, a fact: They were madly in love with each other.

She thought about how they had overcome everything, his divorce, their affair being exposed… She thought of him picking her up from her apartment and proudly walking next to her, holding her waist with one hand and her hand with the other while taking her out on a date. There were cameras everywhere, the whole world was watching them. But he looked like he didnt have a care in the world, as if he was daring the whole world to come between them.

She thought about the blissful few weeks they had together before things started to go wrong. How they went to bed together every night, and made love until the wee hours of the morning. How they would not go to sleep until they were both spent because there was so much time to make up for and neither of them had the will to stop exploring each other. They would make love, lie down in each other's arms, breathe in each other's scent, talk about anything and everything, and then… They would make love again…

Mornings were blissful. They would wake up to each other. They would shower together, get ready together, have breakfast together. Together… There was that one day when Olivia was not feeling particularly well because she had a cold. Fitz had stayed up all night, checking her fever, changing her clothes, getting her to drink water, rubbing her chest and back, holding her in his arms… She was feeling much better in the morning, but it would not stop him from caring for her. He had watched her eat until he was confident she had enough, and he wouldn't take no for an answer when it came to the orange juice. That was to be drunk and there would be no negotiations about it. She was not to disobey a direct order from the POTUS. That day he didn't leave the residence, he cancelled his meetings and worked from there.

He made sure she took her medicines, made sure she ate and drank... He even bathed her. That day seemed so far away now.

She thought of their last days together and their fight - the fight that ended everything. Yes, he was being inconsiderate, and he was punishing her. But was she innocent? Definitely not… She had betrayed his trust one more time and that was why he was acting out. He kept forgiving her no matter what she did. Wasn't he human too? Didn't that mean he could sometimes make mistakes too? Had she just talked to him, he would have seen the errors of his ways, he would have let her be herself. If only she had the clarity she had now, she would have communicated her discomfort to him, and he would have understood her. He would have done anything to make them work. He would have done anything to make her happy – like he always had.

She thought about the baby they wouldn't have because she chose so. "Oh Fitz, what did I do?" she said to herself through tears.

She knew in her heart that she didn't deserve him to come back to her. If only he would wake up, she would spend her entire life trying to get him to forgive her. She would beg him all her life if that's what it took. But now, the most important thing was for him to wake up, to open his beautiful blue eyes. Everything else was secondary.

She thought about the night they broke up. The night he had the stroke… She had left the White House and gone home, had a new couch delivered, sat watching her Christmas tree and having wine. She wanted to make herself believe that she was at peace, but if she was really honest with herself, she didn't feel the way she thought she would. Even that night she knew she had made a mistake. She had gotten her freedom but the happiness that came with it had only lasted all of a few hours and by the end of the night, she was missing him terribly. What was freedom anyway? Was it doing whatever you wanted whenever you wanted? Was she not free just because she had to live in the White House with him for 18 months? Was that a violation of her freedom or was that an 18-month-long compromise that would get them to their home in Vermont where they could grow old together? And that wasn't even the problem. Had she told him how this situation made her feel, had she opened up to him, he would find a way to accommodate her needs. He was never one to deny her anything.

She hadn't talked, she hadn't opened up. Like always, she had chosen to run away. She had chosen to abort their baby, break up with him, and move out of the White House. A relationship of almost seven years had ended in her hands in all of one day.

She was consumed with guilt, helplessness, and desperation.

* * *

She was asking the doctor for updates every day, sometimes twice a day. The answer had always been the same: His vitals were stable, but they couldn't know if or when he would wake up. They were hopeful, though. But that day the doctor told her something utterly devastating. Fitz had been in a coma for such a long time that their hopes of him waking up were decreasing every passing day. And even if he woke up, they couldn't be sure whether he would have his memory, his ability to walk and talk… Not having woken up for almost six weeks now was not a good sign.

Her brain could not process half of what the doctor told her. It simply could not be true. It could not happen.

She found herself on the bed. She lied down next to him and put her forehead in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and crying while begging him to wake up. She put one of her hands on his heart. It was at that point that she felt a slight movement. She held her breath and looked at him, trying to understand what was going on. Could it be real? Could he have moved?

Then his hand twitched. And his eyelids fluttered. He really was waking up!

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you..." She cried. Thanking him maybe hundreds of times.

He was awake.

The doctors did an initial examination. He seemed fine, even though a full recovery would take time – he had some trouble forming words, and his muscles seemed weak. But he was alive, and he was awake. And that was all that mattered to Olivia.

Ever since he woke up, his eyes were on her. It seemed like he didn't believe she was there. After the doctor left the room, Olivia approached him and held his hand tightly; putting small kisses on his face. "Thank you, Fitz… Thank you for waking up. Thank you so much." she kept repeating. After a while she pulled away, enough to look at his eyes. "I am sorry, Fitz. I am an idiot for leaving you. I am so sorry. Please take me back. Please…" she said with tears rolling down her cheeks.

It was hard for him to talk, but he responded, "I l…ov…e y…y…ou Li…vv…ie…".

She was now holding both of his hands tightly and kissing them again and again. He was awake and he was hers… He had forgiven her.


	2. It Was My Baby Too

**_Here is another chapter. They will try to heal from the abortion. Do you think they can?_**

 ** _I don't want to impose my views on abortion, so I won't mention them._**

 ** _In this chapter, I am only trying to navigate through it in a way that could make sense to most of us, and in a way that doesn't clash too much with the personalities of the two. I don't mean to offend anyone._**

* * *

Fitz spent the next month mostly in bed except for when he was in physical therapy. He was far too weak to roam around. At times he got frustrated because he couldn't yet talk as well as he used to, and he had trouble moving his right arm and right leg. However, Olivia was always there to encourage him and to work with him. So, he knew everything would be alright in the end.

Things started to get much better at the end of the first month. His speech was almost completely normal and he had regained full mobility of his arm. He just needed to work a little longer for his leg, but it was much better now. Now, their days consisted of waking up together, having breakfast together, Olivia reading to him and occasionally taking him out to the garden, sitting and conversing with each other, and holding each other while lying in bed together. It was almost heavenly, just being next to each other meant the world to them. They were happy.

* * *

But there was something Olivia had to tell him... The abortion... She was dreading that conversation. It would be heartbreaking, painful, overall too hard...

But it wasn't something she could keep from him because they were going to build a life together and from now on there would be no keeping things from each other. It was hard, but she had to do it.

She told him. She told him when she did it, why she did it and how she felt about it. She told him everything she felt those days, everything that led to that decision.

He was devastated. "How could you kill our baby?" he yelled. "My baby!", he whimpered and he started sobbing. He couldn't listen to her anymore, he couldn't even look at her.

He was angry, he was furious… And he was sad, bereft… He wanted a baby with her for so long. How could she have done that? He couldn't stop his tears. She was sitting on the chair next to the bed and she was crying too. She tried to tell him that she wanted his baby, but it just wasn't the right time for them, she wasn't ready for it then. He wouldn't even look at her. He turned his back to her and cried for the whole night for the baby he had waited for for years, the baby that was taken away from him before he even had a chance to know about its existence.

When he finally fell asleep that night, he dreamed about Olivia being pregnant. He was lying down, his head on her lap. He leaned forward and kissed her swollen belly again and again. He caressed her belly as their baby kicked, and he sang a lullaby to calm the little peanut down. Olivia was so beautiful. She was plumper, had a big belly, and she was just so beautiful. She was smiling and looking at him with her big brown eyes while he took care of her and the baby. He was so very happy. After all, it was all he ever dreamed of: Being with his Livvie, and having a child together...

When he woke up, for a second he was still happy, but then... Then, the reality hit him again: There was no baby; his baby was gone...

The next two days were mostly him grieving. He was angry. He wasn't mean to her, he just didn't talk to her or look at her. She stayed quiet, hoping for him to understand her. She wanted his babies; it was just such a bad time in their relationship, it wasn't the right time, or so she had thought.

He was trying to process everything. He thought about her explanation. He knew he was at fault too. He knew she wasn't doing well those days, yet he didn't try to talk to her, to listen to her. He could have gotten to her and made her open up to him. But he was scared and disappointed and he had let those feelings get the best of him. He knew he was cornering her and that she wouldn't take it well... So, he knew he was partly responsible for what happened too.

Even though nothing was an excuse for aborting their baby, especially without telling him, he knew she must have felt desperate in order for her to do that.

He had two options now: He could either end things, or he would find it in him to forgive her so they could put this on the list of things to heal from. God, that list was long... But he knew, he knew that she would hold his heart forever, and he didn't want to repeat their earlier mistakes.

She woke up the third day and saw him watching her. His eyes were fixed on her. He still looked cold, but his gaze was softer.

"I love you Olivia" he said. "I love you, and I realize that you were going through a lot and you were under a lot of pressure. So, I will try to understand you. But, Olivia, if we are to continue as a couple, I have to know that you will not make decisions without me. It was my baby…" his voice was shaking and he was fighting tears. "It was in your body, but it was my baby too, Olivia, and you didn't even…" He couldn't complete the sentence.

"I am so sorry" Olivia said when he stopped talking. "Fitz it was a very bad time for me, for us. I am so sorry for not telling you about the pregnancy. I want a life with you, and I want babies, but it wasn't the right time... I didn't know how to tell you. I think it was a mistake too. Now I wish I hadn't done it. But I can't take it back, Fitz. But maybe, maybe one day, we can again..." She bit her bottom lip, and lowered her gaze to her hands that were on her lap. She was trying not to cry.

"Don't cry, Olivia", Fitz said in a soothing tone. But he turned his back to her again. He would work on their relationship with her, but he would need time to really recover from this. He needed time to be able to fully trust her again. His heart had been broken one too many times...

* * *

 _ **Here it is. Did you pay attention to Fitz's use of Olivia instead of Livvie in this chapter. It is intentional.**_

 _ **Please comment! :)**_


	3. The Phases of Grief

_**Here is a new chapter... Please comment :)...**_

* * *

It had been a few quiet days. Olivia was desperate for a smile from him, but there had been none.

He'd told her that she should go home and take some rest. After all, she had been living in the hospital for almost 3 months now. She didn't agree, but kept wondering whether he said that because of his anger, so he could get a break from her.

* * *

One day, Olivia woke up and saw that he was still asleep. He hadn't touched her for days now. They'd talked, spent the days together, but he was distant. She watched him for a while and then walked to the bed and sat on the chair next to it. She didnt want to wake him up but she was dying to touch him. She held his hand, and tears started to roll down her cheeks. "I am sorry for everything you ever had to go through because of me." she whispered.

She put his hand on her cheek and leaned into the touch. How much she missed his warmth... "I will wait for as long as you need, Fitz. No running away this time. I will wait for you." she said.

He was awake for this last part, but kept his eyes closed. It melted his heart to hear that she had changed, that she was willing to stay and fight instead of running away. The old Olivia would have left days ago. Maybe she really had a new side to her...

He wanted to open his eyes and pull her to his embrace. He wanted it so much, but he didn't, he couldn't.

* * *

Fitz was in the fourth stage of grief. He had passed the denial, anger, and bargaining phases quiet fast, even though anger came back to him from time to time. He was in the depression phase.

Whenever he closed his eyes, he would go to their house in Vermont. Olivia would be in the garden picking strawberries, or in the kitchen making jam, or sitting in her nook reading a book, or she would be playing and cuddling with a bunch of little kids. It wasn't the fact that they weren't having a child that bothered him so much. He would be fine if she just didn't want kids, or if she didn't think their ages weren't appropriate, or if she physically couldn't. What hurt him the most was that she actually wanted kids, and when she got pregnant, she had terminated it. How could she get rid of their baby? How little faith must she have had in him to do that? And not even telling him about the pregnancy... What kind of a relationship was that? He felt that had failed as a father again, and he had failed as a man.

For the life of him he couldn't understand what he did so wrong. What he did to make the love of his life think that it was better to get rid of their baby than to raise a child together...

* * *

It was almost 2 weeks after she told him about the abortion.

She went out for a walk in the garden. She asked him to join her, but he refused. When she came back almost an hour later, her eyes were red and swollen. It was obvious that she had cried. She tried not to make eye contact, but he could see it.

He wanted to pull her into a warm, soft hug. But there was this nagging feeling... He still felt that she could run away any minute, he felt that she would make decisions without including him in the process...

"How was it?" he asked. "It was good" she replied. Her voice was shaking.

Oh, she wanted him to touch her, wrap his arms around her... She wanted to cry in his chest.

"Why didn't you think I was good enough, Olivia?" he asked after a few minutes.

She looked at him in surprise.

"You decided you didn't want to raise a child with me even though we had discussed it many times before. Even though I know you wanted babies. Obviously you had such little confidence in me that you opted to terminate your pregnancy. So I want to know what I did."

"Fitz" she said. "I felt... that I was turning into Mellie. I was stuck in the White House, picking china patterns, giving out cookie recipes, preparing event menus. That isn't who I am. And you weren't really talking to me. When you did, it was almost always to tell me what to do. And now I was pregnant and I... I felt that I was turning into Mellie. I thought you were punishing me and I can't say I don't understand why you would want that, but in the process I was turning into her. You wouldn't love that Olivia either, Fitz. Maybe I was wrong to assume I was becoming like her, maybe I was wrong to do what I did, but I didn't do it lightly and I didn't do it because I didn't love you or believe that you wouldn't be an amazing father. I struggled with it, Fitz. But I felt that I had done so many wrongs in our relationship that I had broken you, that you weren't the man I got to know and love. I felt that I had permanently changed you. So I was afraid. I am to blame for it. I had changed you. I had turned you into a cold man. And I was turning into Mellie. If we continued like that, we would be doomed. Nothing good would come out of it. I dreamed of having a baby with you for such a long time. But those weren't the circumstances our child should be born into."

"Okay" Fitz said. "Come over here?" he asked.

She walked across the room and sat next to him. She was looking at his face questioningly. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to his chest. Once she was in his embrace, she couldn't contain herself. She started sobbing. The more she sobbed, the tighter he held her. And the tighter he held her, the more she sobbed. She cried until she was completely spent, and had no more strength to shed one more tear...

"I need to know that we will be okay, Fitz" she said. He held her chin and turned her face towards him. "We will be okay" he said, and pulled her back into his embrace. He knew he would forever be in love with this woman. There was no point in denying it.

Apparently he was moving towards the acceptance phase of grief... If he could just trust her the way he used to...


	4. Let Me Come Home With You

_**Enjoy!**_

* * *

They were sitting on Fitz's bed, Olivia was tightly pulled into his embrace. He was holding her, breathing in her scent. His face buried in her hair. With one hand he was holding her securely, and with the other he was rubbing her back, caressing her hair. She closed her eyes, listening to his heartbeat. It was the most soothing sound for her in the world. For the first time in two weeks, her heartbeat and breathing seemed to be regular. When he denied her his love, breathing became painful, as it always has been. And her heart beat erratically, or so it felt.

She turned her face to look at him. He wasn't looking at her with cold eyes anymore. There was love in them. "I love you" she said. "I love you" he replied. She tightened her hold on him, and before they knew it, they were both asleep.

* * *

She woke up before he did. She had been asleep for an hour at most, but she felt more rested than she ever felt in the past weeks. Being in his arms, her head on his chest, was everything. She would never ever leave his side again. No matter what happened, she swore that she would stand by him.

She didn't move for a while so he wouldn't wake up. After a few minutes, his breathing changed and his hold around her tightened - she knew he was awake. She looked at him and said "hi". "Hi" he replied.

She was looking at his face with so much love in her eyes. He wanted to kiss her, but something was keeping him. He was holding back because he felt like the moment he unconditionally gave in to their love as he always did, she would turn around and run away. As much as he loved her, he couldn't trust her.

She leaned her face towards his. She wanted to kiss him, she wanted him to kiss her. She looked at his lips, then his eyes... He contemplated for a few minutes, but then shook his head and opted to kiss her on the forehead.

It broke her heart, but she would take whatever he was ready to give her.

And if he needed time, she would give him that.

* * *

Fitz was doing well and they were arranging him to leave the hospital. He could rest in the White House.

Olivia was happy that he was doing well, but she was restless at the same time. When he was in the hospital, she had never left his side. But now he would go back to the White House and she kept wondering if he would let her go with him...

She was afraid of asking because it would hurt her too much if he said no.

It was the last day in the hospital, and everything was ready for him to leave. She was pacing the room, trying to ask him, but failing...

When he saw her demeanor, the only thought that crossed his mind was that she didn't want to go back to the White House, that she was having cold feet again. It disturbed him to remember their fight on her last day there, but he didn't want to confront her.

At last she was able to gather her courage, so she asked him: "Fitz, do you mind if I come with you? Please? Let me come..."

This was what melted his heart. "Of course" he said with a smile.

* * *

 _ **Okay, so Olivia is still not running away. This is a good sign. She is even going back to the White House with him. The main importance of this is, for the first time her priority is to be with him - she doesn't care much about where they are.**_

 _ **Maybe there is hope for them?**_


	5. Livvie

_**One more step...**_

* * *

They were back in the White House. Fitz was doing well so he had returned to his duties. Susan Ross had done a great job in his absence, she was a very loyal and capable vice president and a very good hearted person. They had hired someone to assume the official duties of the First Lady, and everything was running smoothly.

Olivia was staying in the White House with Fitz. He had suggested that she stayed there but continued her work at the OPA. She was surprised, yet very happy that the suggestion came from him.

So, now, they were both working during the day, and then spending the nights together, chatting about their days, even brainstorming about the issues they ran into. She was helping out in the White House when needed, but most of her time was dedicated to OPA.

They had built a dynamic that was working for both of them, while giving them time to be with each other.

She was still the formidable Olivia Pope - the strong, successful, smart, independent, beautiful woman. She was everything she used to be and more. She was finding out that happiness in your personal life reflected positively on your professional life too.

The whole world knew how she didn't leave his side during his hospital stay and that earned her a lot of sympathy from the public.

In their personal lives, she was much more caring and a lot more open to conversations. Now, they could communicate with each other. The last few months had been hard for her and that phase had been eye-opening. Being independent didn't mean she couldn't make space for him in her life, and accepting his love didn't mean letting go of who she was.

* * *

One day she came back from work a little early and paid him a visit in the Oval. It had been a busy morning and afternoon for him but he was almost done for the day. She immediately realized how tired he was when she entered the room. She walked to where he was sitting and put her hands on either side of his face. She caressed his cheeks with her thumbs and kissed him on the forehead. "Do you think you can take the rest of the evening off? You look tired." she commented.

"I think so. I just have to wrap this up." he said showing her the paper he was holding.

"Finish it up, I'll wait for you here." she said with a smile, and proceeded to sit on the couch.

She watched him as he worked, with a slight smile on her lips. When he was done, they walked to the Residence, holding hands.

* * *

They were sitting on the couch in the bedroom. She was trembling in his arms. It had been so long, way too long since they had been so intimate. They had been sleeping in the same bed since they came back to the White House, but the most they did was to hug, or sometimes give each other a kiss on the cheek or the forehead. But this was different. His breath was on her cheeks, on her lips. He was looking at her with hooded eyes. She was trying so hard not to close her eyes, she wanted to see him. She had been so worried that he may not ever want her again that she didn't have the heart to miss even a second of this.

His arms were wrapped around her and she was flushed against him. Her breathing was so fast and her lips were quivering.

He rubbed her nose with his, he was enjoying the intimacy. He was breathing in her scent. She was overcome with love. There was nowhere else in the world she would rather be.

For the first time in their relationship, she was in his arms with her soul out in the open, her walls non-existent. She was completely his and nothing would ever change that. She would make sure he would never doubt that.

He moved one of his hands to rub her back, then it was on her waist, and then it grazed the side of her body from above her silky shirt and ended up on her cheek. He caressed her cheek and the rubbed her lips with his thumb. She leaned into his palm and kissed the inside of it.

She moved one of her hands to the back of his neck, burying her fingers in his curls.

"Livvie..." He said breathlessly. Her eyes widened with surprise and disbelief - he hadn't called her that for over a month and she had been dying to hear it.

Tears started to pool in her eyes, she opened her mouth to say something but nothing would come out. After a few moments, she let tears fall down her cheeks and was able to finally talk. "I love you, Fitz. I am in love with you. And I want to spend my whole life with you. I want to be yours and only yours. I love you more than anything."

He could see how genuine she was. Her face said it all. She was his and this time there was no running away, no tricks, no lies, no secrets. This time there would be no cold, lonely nights - for she was indeed his as much as he was hers.

* * *

 _ **Comments? Anyone? Should they make love? Do you think she deserves his acceptance? Should she have to wait any longer?**_


	6. Healing Is What Matters

_**This will be a short one...**_

* * *

 _He could see how genuine she was. Her face said it all. She was his and this time there was no running away, no tricks, no lies, no secrets. This time there would be no cold, lonely nights - for she was indeed his as much as he was hers._

But he wouldn't initiate anything. Not until he was sure she was all in this time. This was Olivia, she always left when he least expected it.

She leaned towards his face and her hand moved to his cheek. "You are all I ever want." she said, and pulled him in for a kiss. They both felt the electricity moving through their bodies. A slight moan escaped her, "uh...".

Her hand moved to the button of his shirt, and he stopped her. "Not yet" he said. "I don't want to put a band aid on our wounds, Livvie, not this time, not again. I want healing." And he pulled her deeper into his embrace.

* * *

He could hear Olivia talking when he entered the residence. It sounded like she was on the phone.

"No, Cyrus. NO! There is absolutely no way I am doing this. WHY? Why? Because I almost lost him and it was going to kill me. There is no way I will risk it again." After a moment of silence, she started again: "What part of I don't care do you not get, Cyrus? I don't care if the White House is on fire, I don't care if there is an international crisis. I can't do it, Cyrus. I won't do it. I won't ever manipulate him like this. There is absolutely no way I will go behind his back. I'm going to hang up now."

She didn't know Fitz was in the residence, but he was, and he heard all this. He felt his heart beat faster and faster. She really was changed. Whatever it was Cyrus was asking her to do, she wasn't doing it; and she wasn't doing it because she wanted to be honest with him. She was choosing him.

* * *

He waited for a moment before he entered the bedroom so she wouldn't know that he heard her. He wanted this to be his little secret.

When he entered the room, he found her next to the window, looking outside. She turned to him when he said "hi", and, with a smile, she replied "hi".

He walked towards her, pulled her in for a warm hug, and caressed her cheek. She leaned into his palm, and, "I missed you", she whispered.

* * *

 _ **They are moving forward... What do you guys think?**_

 _ **PS: I get so excited every time I get a review or a PM, so thank you guys for helping me shape my stories and supporting the process! I have never really let anyone read the stuff I wrote before, so the reviews are very new to me and they mean A LOT.**_


	7. Steps

_**More steps...**_

* * *

It was a very busy week for both of them. He had to attend numerous meetings and have rounds of discussions with several senators that usually extended well into the night. He also had two international incidents to tend to.

Olivia's week was hectic too. There was a case she was working on regarding the murder of a senator's wife. His wife's lover had killed her. It would be a disaster if the people found out about it, so they had to make sure the issue was buried before it could make it to the public eye.

They saw each other every night when they came back to the residence. It was better than nothing, but they were two people in love - in deep, deep love - so it was never enough. They made sure they talked at least for a few minutes every night and tell each other about their days. He told her about the incidents and asked for her suggestions. She told him about her case and shared her strategy with him.

Then they would go to bed and fall asleep in each other's warmth. This was a feeling of safety Olivia had never experienced before.

After he overheard her on the phone with Cyrus, Fitz was feeling a lot more confident about their relationship. She was invested, and she was trying.

* * *

 **Saturday**

They were hoping to get some alone time on Saturday after the long week. They were just getting up when an urgent matter forced Fitz to go to the Oval. It wasn't what either of them wanted, but it had to be done. They could always have Sunday... He promised to come back as early as he could, and left her after giving her a really long, soft kiss.

He indeed came back as soon as he could. It was a little after 4pm when he made it back to the residence.

He found her working on the computer and talking to Quinn on the phone. She smiled at him when she saw that he was back, and "two minutes" she mouthed. "No worries" he whispered, and went into the bathroom to freshen up.

He came out of the bathroom after a few minutes with a towel wrapped around his waist. He had showered. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him half naked with water dripping down his hair and chest, still wet from the shower.

He realized that he got her attention. Oh, he wanted her too. He could make love to her for days and still be hungry for it, but he wanted to talk to her about them first.

Putting on his boxers and a casual shirt, he walked towards her. Holding both her hands and giving them soft kisses, he asked "Can we talk today? There are a few things about us that I want to discuss with you." When he saw that she was nervous, he explained: "Nothing bad, Livvie, just so that we understand each other better. Just a talk, to be in sync with each other."

"Of course" she said. "Let's talk."

"Give me a few minutes to get ready. Then we can go out to the garden. The weather is very nice today."

"Sounds good." she said with a smile.

* * *

Fitz had planned this. When he looked outside from the window of the Oval and saw that it was a beautiful day, he had asked someone from the staff to set up a table for two outside in the Rose Garden. It was their spot, they could have some snacks, some of her favorite wine, and talk. They could take a walk in the garden if she wanted. Life in the White House could be boring from time to time, but he tried to bring some color into it. Plus, the Rose Garden was special for the two of them. He loved seeing her there.

She was very surprised to see the table he had set up for them. She knew how busy he had been and the fact that he had taken time to even think about it made her feel very special. "Thank you for this" she whispered to him, and he responded with a smile.

After they settled, Fitz started talking. "We went through very trying times, Liv. And even though we talked about things, I feel that we should do more. I think lack of communication is our biggest issue and we can fix that. We should fix that." Liv nodded, looking deep into his eyes.

"I have loved you from the moment I saw you, Liv. The moment I laid eyes on you, my heart skipped a beat and the center of my universe shifted. I never thought such a thing was possible. You mesmerized me." He said looking at her eyes. She smiled, thinking about the day they met.

He continued talking, after cupping her cheeks with his palms. "As I got to know you more, I got more and more enchanted by you. With your intelligence, your confidence, your beauty... There was something in your eyes that I couldn't solve, but I could never look away."

He was now caressing her right cheek with the back of his fingers. "The night you came to my room... That night I promised myself that I wouldn't let you get away from me. That night I knew I would be wrapped around your finger till eternity." He let out a small chuckle, and continued. "I have told you time and again, Livvie. You are the love of my life and nothing makes sense without you. This is the most beautiful feeling in the world: Finally being whole... But it is also the scariest... Scariest, because you left me, again and again and again... And every time you left me, I lost my soul until you came back. I dont ever want to feel that way again. I wouldn't make it." His eyes showed worry and despair, he dropped his hands onto his lap when he was saying those last words. She reached and put one of her hands on his hands, and used her other hand to turn his face towards hers.

He closed his eyes and continued. "You are the air I never knew I needed, you are the joy I never knew existed, you are the love I never thought was possible. But you keep running away, Livvie. You leave me airless, joyless, loveless. You leave me torn apart and broken."

After letting out a sigh, he looked back at her and continued. "When I moved you into the White House after learning that you let him out, I made a mistake. I shouldn't have forced you, I am sorry. But I had reasons. It made sense at the time. First of all, I was angry and I was acting out. Second, I was scared of the things you were doing. You were like a stray bullet. I kept thinking what else you could do if you could do that... And what concerned me the most was the fact that all those things you did included dangerous people Livvie. I could not take that chance. I could not lose you. What if... what if... I cannot even think about it. I was trying to keep you safe and out of trouble... It was not the right way, but as I said, I was angry, my trust was broken, and I was acting out. I am sorry for that, Livvie. I should have talked to you..."

For a while Olivia was at a loss for words, his sadness and openness shook her. But she finally found the strength to talk. "Fitz, I am so sorry I let my father out of prison. I really, truly am. I was feeling cornered, I didn't know what to do. I didn't want us to get married in a hurry like that. That wasn't what we deserved, it wasn't how it was supposed to happen. And I couldn't let you get impeached. I was going to lie to the Judiciary Committee so that you wouldn't be. Then my father contacted me, he told me that someone was going to kill him. And he told me that if I got him out of prison, he would make the impeachment proceedings go away. I didn't want him to die, I didn't want you to get in trouble... I did what I felt made sense at the time. I was trying to be logical... But, I should have talked to you... I'm sorry."

"Being in the White House... At that time it felt like a punishment. It felt like you were angry at me and so you were imprisoning me. I felt restricted, I felt that I lost my independence, I felt that I lost my job, I felt that I was losing my whole life. You were distant, you made decisions on my behalf without consulting me. I wasn't feeling like myself. I was losing myself. We weren't us. I didn't leave because I didn't love you. I left because I couldn't stand what had become of us. And I couldn't stand not being me anymore."

"When it comes to all the other times that I ran away..." She was looking at a far away spot now. "Those were different. I didn't have a right to you. You were married, you had children, you weren't mine to love. I still couldn't stop myself, but I didn't have the right to stay. I was weak and I ended up coming back to you every time, but the reality was I didn't have the right to love you. Also, my father... My mother... The things they have done... I had to stay away. I never left you because I didn't love you. I always left because I had to. It was never out of choice, but always out of obligation."

Her eyes lingered for a while and then she turned to look at him again. "I want you to know that I love you. I will always love you. I don't think I even have another option. Not loving you hasn't even been an option since I first saw you." Olivia said, caressing his cheek.

"And Fitz, I will never ever leave you again." Olivia whispered, leaning towards him to put her head on the crook of his neck.

Things were making more sense now. Hearing how the other one was feeling, how they had felt when they did things that hurt the other made things more understandable. Obviously they weren't trying to hurt the other, they didn't act the way they did because they didn't care about the other, they were just reacting to situations. And one thing was obvious: They were deeply in love with each other.

"I think we are doing well." Fitz said after a few minutes. "I think we are doing well" Olivia responded.

"We should talk more." Olivia said. "We will talk more." Fitz responded, with a smile.

* * *

 _ **Mmm? What do you guys think?**_


	8. Best Jam Ever

_**The new promo is disgusting. New jam? Oh hell no!**_

 _ **Anyway, I won't talk much about it, because it might get ugly. Deep breaths, deeep breaths. #NoOlitzNoScandal**_

 _ **Let's continue this, shall we?**_

* * *

 _ **Sunday**_

"Wake up, lazy" she whispered as she tapped his shoulder. He stirred but didn't wake up. "Hey, lazy, I am talking to you. Wake up." she said, while tickling him. This time he opened his eyes and suddenly pulled her towards himself. She was encased in his arms and now he was tickling her.

"I won't stop unless you surrender" he said. "Noo!" she squealed.

"I won't stop until you do" he said. "I - won't" she replied between laughters. She was fighting to get away from his grip but he was far too strong. After a few moments, she couldn't take it anymore and screamed "Okay, okay, I give up, please stop".

He stopped tickling her and now they were face to face, he was hovering over her, both looking into each other's eyes. She was smiling and panting. He put his forehead against hers. They stayed like that for a minute and she finally said "I brought us breakfast".

The White House chef had prepared his favorite blueberry pancakes with lots of fruits and syrup on the side. There was also tea, slices of toasted bread, butter and strawberry jam. "Oh jam!" He squealed and started to put some on a slice of bread. He took a bite, and said "This is different. Mmm... It's good. Must be a new brand. Wanna try some?" he said and handed the slice out to her. She smiled and asked, "so, you like it?". "Yea, pretty good" he said.

"That's good because I was a little nervous" she said in response. He didn't understand why she would be nervous about jam, so he looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"I made it" she continued. "Yesterday... After you had to go back to the Oval. I wanted to do something different because I have been really stressed out with work lately. And our talk was pretty intense... I wanted to do something to unwind. I've been meaning to learn how to make jam, it seemed like a good time. The first try wasn't very successful, I have to admit. But I think I got it the second time around." She laughed remembering her first try.

He was looking at her, surprised.

"I needed to learn it so that when we move to Vermont, I can..."

Fitz had put the breakfast tray on the side table within a second and pulled her to himself. Before she could finish her sentence, his lips we on hers. It took her a minute to register what was going on.

He suddenly flipped them over so he was on top of her. He looked at her and he whispered, "Livvie...". He brought a hand to her face, to brush the few strands of hair away, and to caress her cheeks. She closed her eyes as the back of his fingers traced her features and he whispered again and again, "Livvie...". They were so close to each other, and the moment was so intimate that his breath was burning her lips.

She longed for him. She ached for him.

She couldn't take it anymore. She pulled him back in for a passionate kiss. She could taste the jam on his lips. She reached between their bodies and pulled the ribbon at the waist of her robe. The silky fabric fell open to the sides. He lifted her up a little to drag it down her shoulders and to lift up her night gown.

She was overwhelmed with desire. Her skin was flushed...

He was wearing only boxers, so the moment her night gown was out of the way, they had skin to skin contact of their upper bodies. It had been such a long time since they were this intimate and neither of them could think about anything other than how much they wanted each other.

"Fitz" Olivia whispered, she was breathing erratically. "Fitz, I need you" she said, looking at his eyes. "Please..."

Her eyes were glistening with desire. "Please, I can't take it anymore" she said.

He wanted her with all his being. He was craving her.

She was trembling with desire and anticipation while his mouth was traveling down from her mouth to her bosom, then to her navel, and then to her core. He breathed in her smell, deeply. It was intoxicating for him. He craved it, he had craved it for so long... But he wanted that bliss to last as long as it could so he was intent on taking his time. His mouth lingered on her inner thighs. He then started putting open mouthed kisses everywhere - everywhere but where she needed them the most. Her heart was beating so fast that she thought it could explode any minute. Her breathing was shallow, her skin was flushed, sweat was accumulating on her forehead... She was clutching the bed sheet to ground herself.

"Oh... Fitz... Please... Please don't make me wait anymore" she said with a hoarse voice. He was still breathing in deeply, and exhaling heavily on her inner thighs, torturing her.

"Fitz! I can't take it anymore!" she yelled, writhing under him and clutching the sheets even more.

"Yes, you can, sweet baby" he said. "Yes, you can... Do you know how much you made me wait for you?"

With that he moved upwards and hovered over her. Bringing one of his palms to cup her cheek, he brought their lips together.

He kissed, and nipped, and sucked her lips until her moans were just unintelligible sounds. She was shaking so much that it felt like every cell in her body was trembling each time a part of him made contact with her.

* * *

Their movements were slow and deliberate. They were deep and strong.

The feelings were so overwhelming that she closed her eyes and threw her head back.

"Look at me, Livvie" Fitz whispered. "I have been deprived of your beautiful eyes for so long. Open them, look at me." he continued. She shivered in response to his words, and opened her eyes to look at him through hooded lids.

"You are so beautiful Olivia" Fitz said.

"I will never let you go again" Olivia said. "I can't live without you anymore. I love you, I am in love with you. I have been in love with you forever..." She continued, her sentences came out as whispers.

They continued their slow, deliberate movements, all the while whispering to each other.

Then the world stopped spinning. This could only mean that they had died and ended up in heaven. This kind of feeling could not exist in the world. Volcanoes were erupting inside her, she saw the stars, and a blissful warmth took over her body. She was no longer on Earth. She felt like they literally melted and came together, never to be separated again. They no longer had two bodies, they were one soul in one body.

The ecstasy was so overwhelming, she didn't even realize that she had been crying, or that he was wiping her tears away with his kisses, while his tears were making their ways on her cheeks and hair.

They both understood at that moment that they could never let go of each other, ever again...

* * *

 _ **THIS is the ONLY KIND of JAM we are interested in! NO NEW JAM! #NoOlitzNoScandal**_

 _ **I really appreciate all the comments, thank you! They really help me, and they make me so happy. Please keep letting me know what you think...**_


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